Some years back, when I was still single, a big uncle called me one afternoon in his house and started advising me on general issues of life.
He shared a story with me which I will share with you too.
He used to work in a company during his early days in marriage, then he has three or four kids, I can’t remember for sure.
Something happened and the company laid them off. According to him, his wife earns a reasonable amount of money from her business.
But every morning, he will dress up, kiss the wife, and off to work. He will come back in the evening tired.
The wife started noticing the unusual tiredness and begin to wonder, she asked the husband but he dismissed it that he was assigned extra duties in the office.
It continued like that for weeks.
One fine morning, he dressed up as usual and went to “work” in a construction site as a cement mixer and helper.
Unknown to him, the wife was following him. As he undressed and put on his laborer’s cloth with his head pan balanced on his head.
Gbam! The wife was standing in front of him with tears dropping down her eye.
They kept looking at each other for some minutes before the wife turned and went home.
He continued with his job and went home at the close of work with the foodstuff he bought.
Because of his unusual tiredness and rough body, the wife suspected something, she went to his office and was informed the husband has been laid off. So she followed him to know where he goes that makes him so tired.
He apologized to his wife for not informing her but that he doesn’t have a choice, he must continue taking care of his family pending when he gets another.
He looked at me sternly and said, ” Never allow circumstances make you abandoned your role as the husband, be the father and provider of your family, do whatever legal it takes to take care of your family”
That really changed my mindset about fatherhood.
His story gave me another perspective about marriage and responsibility.
It’s saddening how our generation of men are becoming irresponsible.
I’m not talking about a man that finds himself in a difficult situation, it happens atimes, I’m not talking about a man that is temporary down in his finance, it happens.
I mean men that has abandoned their responsibility as husbands and fathers.
I made a post about a husband that couldn’t pay 30k for his wife hospital delivery bill. According to the wife, he received a payment of 300k two months before the wife’s delivery, she begged her to give her 100k to save for the arrival of the baby, he refused.
The wife has to save from her fruit business which she used to pay her bill.
I was actually attacked by men, that why will i post such with questions like, are you married, why saying nonsense and bla bla.
Our society focuses on preparing women for marriage but barely pays attention to men.
Men are the leaders of the family, I think more emphasis should be placed on the headship.
Also in preparing men for marriage and responsibility, marriage is a responsibility. Personal finance management should be included. I learned a lesson on saving by Sam Adeyemi, I think all men should go watch his teachings on finance.
Many men lack money management skill, not really the amount you earn but how well you manage it. Things are hard I agreed, this singular reason is enough to force every man learn how to manage the little money and plan well.
Every man out there taking your responsibility seriously, may God lift you higher, may your wife be supportive and understanding.
Pray for men,
Love for all the men in the house.